A Room with a view for our Alien Guests

 

The recent discovery of water on Mars confirms we are on the verge of resolving Fermi’s paradox.

Very soon we will be in contact with Aliens, and therefore it is time to make plans.

I would like to contribute to such plans by thinking about logistical arrangements for a possible Alien delegation, in particular by suggestions the most appropriate location on Earth on where to host them for our first intergalactic conference.

If one were to believe Hollywood, first contact with Aliens almost invariably occurs on US soil.

I think this is unlikely, first contact will happen over radio waves or somewhere in space.  I am more concerned about what happens after that.  So we met them: well, assuming they have not already pulverised us in a blob of nothingness and dust (it is likely that sentient Aliens will be more technologically advanced than us), then we have to invite them for peaceful conversation and exchange of knowledge.

But where?  No one is thinking of where.

Actually, I think the answer is obvious, maybe the right location is so obvious to everyone and this explains why it is not discussed.

Where should we meet Aliens: of course in Tel Aviv!

Why?

Let’s first rule out some other locations:

• The US?  Sorry definitely not, can you imagine the reaction?  Immediate strong military response, probably with catastrophic consequences (see point above about them being technologically superior)
• Naples Italy? Kind of more entertaining, but then the whole benefit of the visit would have been to sell Aliens a plethora of fake goods and mandolins, not much of a learning opportunity for mankind.  I assimilate the entire South and Central American continent to Naples
• Siberia Russia?  you got to be kidding, maybe in winter?  What are we going to have after the conference, Aliens frozen popsicles for sale?  (same for Canada including Ontario, sorry guys I have been there in winter).
• The UK and central Europe?  with its confused politics and royals, who would represent humanity then?  a patchwork of uncoordinated voices and opinions?
• Africa?  Maybe next conference
• Asia would be a good choice, I put this as number two especially Japan that is at least orderly and clean.  Japan itself however is too ethnically homogenous.  Bangkok?  Yes but it is already clogged up with traffic can you imagine if it was hosting the first conference with Aliens?  Total Asian lockdown.  Singapore: boring.  Bali?  Nah, everyone out surfing and too many people looking like Aliens in Denpasar anyway, our Space Guests would go unnoticed.
• Australia, ah yes I love Australia.  We would do a good job, like for the Sydney 2000 Olympics (still the best).  But I recognise we are far away from other humans, too costly to fly everyone here.
• The various Stan states, India, Iraq etc.  Sorry no

So even by using a method of exclusion, Tel Aviv comes out on top.

However, there are also plenty of Positive reasons to choose Tel Aviv as the site of the first Human Alien conference.

Here are the top five reasons:

1. It is a modern, beautiful city.  The weather is sensational all year round. It lies on the shore of the mild Mediterranean Sea.
2. It has a cosmopolitan feel with people from different ethnicities and creeds coexisting in peace
3. Its people are tolerant, welcoming, fun and technologically advanced
4. Tel Aviv is close to Jerusalem, the centre of all major religions in the world.  This would come in handy in case the Aliens have some sort of a better rapport with the Creator, at least they would see our choice of location with sympathy.  (also reason why we should exclude Vegas and Montecarlo).
5. Tel Aviv has the best anti-missile defence system in the world.  Now I do not wish to be pessimistic, and I know Aliens’ technology is superior, but in case some weirdos attack our Alien guest, Tel Aviv can protect them better than other cities.

So, Tel Aviv it is.

You heard first here on jcbits