Don’t worry about my looks, only ask me for my name…

 

Fake science can be very successful.

Indeed, the diffusion of disciplines like dietology, executive cooking, Bikram yoga, Homeopathic medicine, tarot reading, and indeed some branches of econometrics forecasting:  all of these should be examples of what I think are ultimately not much more than “points of view” now recycled as science.

Just in case you are a bit confused by the content so far, this is an article about dating advice, however that comes after the prologue.  Another two-three paragraphs and we will get there.

Back to where we were.  Many of us (I say “us” because this includes me) like fake sciences and the reassurance they give us. Especially when fake science say something that what we like and their recommendation are sufficiently packaged that we can believe there is some substance to the various theories of recommendations.  Even if this substance is a bit shallow at best.

I would like to clarify that I have nothing against esoteric thinking. Actually I am quite attracted to it and I accept the fact that not everything can be explained by science or rational thinking.  I welcome the insight that can be derived by astrology, alchemy, KB yoga, cosmic connections and the like.  Provided they are not positioned for something they are not.

I would call the mambo jumbo of disciplines that are presented as science when they are not “fake science”.  I distinguish between esoteric disciplines and fake sciences because the former does not try to be considered valuable from a rational perspective, whilst a fake science does.  And the only value I attribute to them is that of entertainment.  And that is what I like about them.

Within this context, I also maintain that anyone with sufficient creativity can generate a new fake science, and say something that on the surface might even make sense.  And in this article I propose a new theory: the success of a couple, or of a date, can be predicted simply by knowing the first name of the two people who make up a couple.

If you think this is totally bizarre, I would like to state that I am not the only Expert in this field.  For example, there is a very popular sms application in Germany where someone can submit two names and the “sms guru” will reply with a rating out of 100 points on the compatibility between the two people.  Even offering a commentary on their sexual chemistry, their communication potential and so on.

The problem with this approach is that you have to send an sms to Germany (let alone know which number to send the sms to).  Not only, it is a highly customised answer, each combination of names is treated as unique.

That is unnecessary, because using my algorithm one can immediately predict how successful a couple would be.

The rule is simple: take the first name of a man (or the more dominant party in a same-sex couple). The most compatible person is a lady (or a less dominant party in a same-sex couple) whose first name initial is contingent or adjacent by a space of 3.

Confusing?  It does not have to be.  I will clarify with an example.

Since my name is Joseph, I am best matched with a lady whose name starts with J, K, L or M.  Simple.  Start from J and look at the next three letters.

For a lady?  The reverse rule applies.  So if your name is Kelly, than the best match is a K, or a J (like Joseph) or I or H.  Or for Anna, it would be Adam, or Ziad, or Yuval or Xavier.

Change of name?  Like you were known as Edward but now everyone calls you Ted?  Well you compatible partner will also change.  From E, F, G, H to T, U, V, and W.

I hope many of you will see the great value in this new dating name science.  To the sceptics, I would like to remind you that this theory has a very close resemblance to the scientific validity of many diets, self-improvement books, economic projections and methods to make money playing roulette with a double zero.